why i cry a lot

The other day i was going on a drive to the local supermarket to buy some mushrooms for my dinner which mostly consists of mushrooms and more mushrooms and paprika, i was wearing my skin tight shirt that said, "NO NOT HOBBITS" which was used to deter all of the "not hobbits" babes from totally hitting on me. As i was at the cash register and buying my mushrooms and paprika, the cashier said, "Oh, I'm a stupid idiot and think that hobbits are only in movies and books, so I am going to compliment your sweet skin tight shirt, that says "NO NOT HOBBITS", by saying that i liked those movies and not the real hobbits in real life that exist and are real and I'm a stupid idiot." He clearly wasn't thinking straight so, with the fury of a hobbit, i smacked his face. After that ordeal i had realized that everyone was watching me and ready to call the cops. So i did what any sane hobbit enthusiast would do, i screamed,  "HOBBITS ARE REAL" and ran to my car, crying, and went home, only to realize that i forgot the mushrooms but remembered the paprika. so while i was eating my dinner of only paprika and tears i decided to get revenge on the world by proving the existence of hobbits by becoming a hobbit.