Why hobbits are the best and my neighbor Richard is an asshole.

The other day I was watering my mushroom garden (which i use to lure hobbits into my hobbit net) when my neighbor Richard walked into my yard and said, " Oh i'm such an asshole and would like for you to come over to my house to watch a basketball with me because basketball contains exactly no hobbits and hobbits aren't real because they don't exist because i'm an asshole because hobbits don't exist". After such a mockery of my life's work involving hobbits, I got up, and with furious fury i gently nudged him off of my property and softly whispered into his ear, "fuck you" and walked into my hobbit hole where my girlfriend, a life sized cardboard cutout of a female hobbit cleric, was waiting for me. After several hours of smoochin up on my girl, i ate some paprika and fell asleep.